The lowdown

Advice for any going to be mom of 2

2011-09-21T18:06:00.001-05:00

Know that you are going to have a near impossible time making them both happy at the same time. The sooner you accept that, the better off you will be.

Conflicted

2011-07-23T18:07:00.001-05:00

I love my two girls. I just really feel like I am ignoring elliot because rian is always attached to me somehow...normally nursing. Which, knock on wood, seems to be going better than the first time. I dont know how to balance 2 babies.

SHE is here!

2011-07-17T14:34:00.001-05:00

Sorry for the delay. Things have been busy to say the least... Rian audrey was born on the 12th at 12:23pm 8lbs 7ounces with a head of black hair. We are in love! 21.5 inches long
Sissy WILL NOT stop kissing her. C/s went well and I am feeling good. Let me say there is a huge difference between a planned c/s vs a spur of the moment one.

2 days

2011-07-10T19:56:00.001-05:00

O.m.g. Tuesday at noon is my babes birthday! I can't even believe it! I am trying this new blogger app via droid so I hope this works. My computer has blocked blogger, so that is why I have been having trouble posting. Feeling tired and ready for this baby to come. Eeeeeeekkkkk!

36 week checkup

2011-06-23T18:08:00.002-05:00

So they did the step b test. I am sure it will come out negative, as it did with Elliot. Not dilated at all, but about 50% effaced. PLEASE keep your fingers crossed for me to go into labor sometime in the next 1-2 weeks. The baby is around 7 lbs already.

my ramblings

2011-06-12T12:57:00.000-05:00

I am a bad blogger. I have just had so much to do it seems! I am now huge to say the least. 30 days until my c/s. AHHH That is just so crazy! Seems like this has both been a slow and fast pregnancy all at the same time.

Although, since our AC broke, it could be the worst month thus far.

Elliot is doing well, still waking up a couple times at night. I just don't know what to do. We needed a break so Elliot went to her grandmothers house last night for her very first sleepover ever. Actually, the first time she has spent more than 8 hours away from me.

I did not cry, just for the record. I was sad at first, then became a little giddy of the thought of sleeping all night long. It was worth it. We might have to make this a monthly thing. When my mom dropped her off this morning, she went right to her daddy. Wanted nothing to do with me. She is the biggest "daddys girl" I have ever seen.

I guess I am blessed that he is a good father. Not all kids/wives are that lucky. I have been thinking a lot lately about going back to work after the baby is born. I would like to be off till the first of the year. I might go back sooner. My cousin has said that she would be our nanny. Of course we would pay her.

HOWEVER- this brings up another point. Elliot is almost 1 1/2 years old and has no friends to play with really. I was sort of looking forward to daycare because she needs some socialization. She plays well with other kids when we do play with them. Maybe We can just sign her up for some swim classes or music class.

aiy.

not cool

2011-05-17T12:03:00.001-05:00

Can I just say this 2 hour time difference in Elliot waking time is NOT COOL. This mommy needs her sleep.

That is all I can say.

I was almost fooled

2011-05-16T12:08:00.003-05:00

I was thisclose to thinking I was going to get away with no swelling this time around. Who was I kidding? 57 days till my c/s and yesterday and today I have a TON of swelling in my legs and feet.

Also? Remeber me ranting about all the heartburn last time? I had a ton of it last night as well. Dejavu.

On top of that Elliot has decided that as soon as her dad leaves for work in the morning at 6am that she must also wake from her slumber. So I will have been alseep for a couple good hours and then it is time to get up. Bah.

Maybe I will get to sleep in...a couple years? maybe? Lie to me?

I am bigger than I thought...

2011-05-02T13:01:00.003-05:00

OK so on delivery day with Elliot I was 52 inches around!

I am 29 weeks and some change right now. I am 47 inches around. WOWZERS!

Doctors have already said this is going to be another big baby. But if I go into labor on my own before July 12th (please let it be in July sometime because I already have jewlery with the July birthstone...) I will give it a shot.

I am not expecting that really, I am expecting a c/s at noon on July 12th.

I do seem to be having more braxton hicks this time around, or at least from what I can remember.

Let Gods will be done.

The baby will have also had to rotate since my last ultrasound. It was transverse. Weird feeling for sure.

Bathing suits

2011-05-02T12:58:00.003-05:00

I found a website that offers bathing suits for the family that won't make your pp body feel bad about the way it looks ;) They have a tummy tuck feature!
Also some really cute tankinis/

http://www.hapari.com/modest-tankinis/

whoa

2011-04-19T13:46:00.002-05:00

OK. I looked at my calander today and I have like 80 days until my c/s. AHHHHHH Where the heck did time go this time around?

The sad part? I have ONE belly picture.

Those are pictures and times I can't get back now that they are gone. Although, I look THE SAME as I was with Elliot right down to belly size now. Just more stretchies. eep!

28 weeks Sunday.
Doctor appointmet on monday where I am sure I will get the weight talk.

I started this pregnancy out at 20lbs less than I was when I got pg with ELliot (thank you BFing). I have gained *almost* 30lbs thus far. I don't know how really, because its not like I sit there and mindlessly eat all day. I am fully expecting to gain another 20-25lbs by the time this thing is done. To tell you the truth, I am not really that worried. It took about 6 months or so to get back down, but it happened. I wasn't even trying either. This time I will be trying because it is our last baby.

I want to look sexy again!

BTW- if you have been following my sex drama we had sex for the first time in months a week or so ago. It was OK. Could have been better but beggars can't be choosers!

My wallet is unhappy now that I found this...

2011-04-13T13:39:00.002-05:00

OK. I thought that something like this would only occur in a dream; but alas it is real! I want to introduce you to HEARTSY. <---clicky

It is groupon for etsy gone wild. They offer several (read: not just one) different stores and give you AT LEAST 50% discount to their store.

Baby stuff, jewlery, housewares, vintage, anything you can think of! This place is great!

YWIA

The part that I hate

2011-04-06T10:20:00.001-05:00

The glucose tolerance test. Blah. Tonight I am going to get it done (should I make it there in time). Fingers crossed that I passed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and the date is set!

2011-03-28T20:17:00.002-05:00

July 12th will be the date of this kids birth! noon. I am so excited and SCARED! I am secretley still holding onto hope that I will go into labor and have a sucessful delivery all on my own before then. I will be 39 weeks 2 days.

Bring it on summer time!

sex

2011-03-21T17:57:00.001-05:00

I guess I am in sort of a rut. I want to feel sexy again! I NEVER wear makeup, only recently have I maybe twice because I got it from my new Avon ventures. Sometimes, I never even get out of my PJ's- or better yet. I change into new ones. I miss the days when my husband and I would make out just because we wanted to, or have sex whenever we wanted to. Raw, I know. It is just how I feel. I want that spark back. Well, let me change that. I want him to have his spark back. It seems like when I am pregnant, he does not find me attractive at all. We have sex like 2-3 times a month at most. I am feeling very...horny for lack of a better word. I would take it everyday if I could. I have always been like that. He used to be like that. I just want to know what changed.

Maybe I need to start taking care of myself. Maybe it is my lack of confidence, or just not caring about myself as much as Elliot. Maybe if I start wearing makeup, changing out of my PJ's and taking time for myself- he will find me attractive again.

Sorry this had to be a downer post. It makes me feel better to write it out.

Ho hum.

What I need.

2011-03-15T14:21:00.003-05:00

I need either a trained monkey or one of those grabber sticks they give away with the scooters. Bending over to pick things up is starting to s-u-c-k.

Also, I am sure this babe is going to be over the 10lb mark because I have been getting my first rib kicks all day today. This is going to be a long 15.5 weeks until my c-section!

OMG maybe not. I just said I have only 15.5 weeks left. How the F-word do I only have 15 1/2 weeks left!?>!!!!!

:::cue freak out:::

Bonus: My husband is really digging this cleaning kick I am on right now. I think that I need to get in the routing of getting everything clean now so it won't be so difficult when baby #2 gets here.

Also- We changed out names. Well for a girl it is still going to be Rian Audrey, but for a boy it is going to be Truman Lee. It grew on me ;) And NO I am not saying this is a boy, just saying that will be his name should it be a he and not a she.

Going OK

2011-03-07T17:43:00.003-05:00

So this is going to be a plug- but you get some free stuff. No party needed :)

If you order 30$+ from my online store (click here) then I will mail you a makeup item from the new smooth minerals collection! Just message me your favorite colors and I will mail them right to you as soon as I get them with no extra charge.

Cool, right? Double bonus.

Chickenpox!

2011-03-06T09:43:00.001-05:00

Elliot, at her 1 year appointment was given the typical chickenpox vaccine. And now? She is covered in pox. Poor baby :(

when one door opens, right? FREE STUFF ALERT

2011-03-01T20:47:00.004-05:00

So, this is an opportunity for you all as well as for me.

I just became a new Avon representative! I am so excited about this new business venture. I want to extend the opportunity to my interweb peeps to order from me so here you go:

http://www.youravon.com/nickivaden

ALSO- FREE STUFF ALERT!!!

If you want to host an internet party (which requires little to no effort on your part), for every 50$ in sales your team brings in, I will give you 8$ in makeup or haircare products as credit! After all the sales are in, you can tell me what you want and I will have to mail that to you. How great is that!!!

Avon is not just about makeup anymore. They have cooking supplies, clothing, jewlery, fragrance, and great hair care products as well as everything under the sun. So check it out!

If you want to be included on the promotional email list, just leave your email address. If you want to start a party you can leave your email address OR go to my website for more information.

I know it! I know it! I know it!

2011-03-01T20:44:00.002-05:00

I know the gender of the baby, but my husband does not. SOOO excited! Baby looked healthy and measures right to the day. This baby is also much more lazy than Elliot was, and I am grateful :)

If you are waiting to see what the baby is, you will have to keep waiting because my husband occasionally looks at this blog and I don't want him to find out. Sorry guys :)

Time goes by way too fast!

2011-02-27T08:54:00.004-05:00

I just updated my ticker ----> to show that Elliot is already a year old and is working her way to TWO FREAKING YEARS OLD!!! Wtf! How did that happen!?!?

BTW- I am 20 weeks pregnant today!!!! How did that one happen??? BIG ultrasound tomorrow morning.

I am finding out but my husband is not. I can not, not find out. I am a planner and with all the mom to mom sales coming up it would be silly not to be able to buy clothing when I am out.

I need to buy either way considering Elliot was born in freezing cold and this baby will (god willing) be born in the hot hot heat.

SOOOOOO Excited!

Now watch. The way my stubborn children are this one will keep its legs closed.

Our winter ONEderland...

2011-02-24T08:52:00.004-05:00

Just a taste- I had snowflakes EVERYWHERE! Not pictured are the favor boxes that the cookies went in that said, "thank you for coming, hope you had a ONEderful time!" lol.

12 month checkup!

2011-02-23T17:06:00.002-05:00

Bad day for poor Elliot! She had 3 shots :( I can not stand it to watch babes get poked :(

However, here is a little bit about what she is like.

31 inches tall
34.8 lbs
48.6 cm head (lots of brains!)

2T clothing
6/7 shoes
2T/3T socks
Favorite food is mac and cheese
Favorite juice is apple carrot

Enjoys wearing pink over other colors
can climb the stairs and go down them pretty well

is finally growing a little hair!

Drinks too much milk...

Is the biggest ham in front of a camera, or any time really.

Says: mom (or mum when she is upset), mama, dad, pop, ball, dog, up, down (sometimes) babe, and NO. And bug. She randomly says other words after we say them sometimes. She also says, "jew" for juice. Oh. Baba.

She also jumps in her bed...it has begun!

Opens the lever style door handles.

Tried to unlatch herself out of the car seat.

Does not like to wear shoes.

Thinks that everyone has a baby in their tummy, even daddy and uncles. If you ask her where the baby is she will lift up everyones shirt and point. She pats my belly throughout the day.

Her favorite toy is a baby doll that she carries, rocks, "burps" and feeds. It is the cutest thing. If I tell her that it is crying she tries to comfort it. She is the best little mommy.

I can say, without a doubt, that this has been the best year of my life. I love her so much and that love is only growing. I will post party pictures soon!

ABC's of me

2011-02-19T21:14:00.002-05:00

(A) Age: 23

(B) Bed Size: Queen

(C) Chore You Hate: folding and putting away the laundry. I can wash it just fine :)

(D) Dogs? Dillon-1 1/2 year old shih-poo.

(E) Essential Start Your Day Item: Coffee

(F) Favorite Color: Hot pink or purple for Elliot, it has always been green for me.

(G) Gold or Silver? Silver. Or white gold.

(H) Height: 5'6

(I) Instruments You Play: Anything on drum line, flute, piccolo, saxophone. Jack of all trades really. I started with the flute.

(J) Job Title: EMT before mommy, now a mommy.

(K) Kids: Elliot Grace! My 1 year old daughter and I have an 11 year old stepson Noah.

(L) Live: MI

(M) Mom's Name: No reason anyone needs to know that. Except her.

(N) Nicknames: Nick, Nicki

(O) Overnight Hospital Stays? Yes- just when I had Elliot.

(P) Pet Peeve: Chewing with your mouth open!!! Or hearing you chew. Barf.

(Q) Quote from a Movie: "sexytime" is the only thing I can think of.

(R) Right or Left Handed? Right

(S) Siblings: 1 Brother

(T) Time You Wake Up? 8:00 NORMALLY. Or within 30 minutes give or take.

(U) Underwear: Bikini-but my guilty pleasure is wearing...granny panties... don't laugh!! Regular panties rub my c/s line and it bothers me.

(V) Vegetable You Dislike: Raw tomato

(W) What Makes You Run Late: Elliot's poop.

(X) X-Rays You've Had Done: teeth, HSG

(Y) Yummy Food You Make: Mac n cheese, well I do cheesy things well.

(Z) Zoo, Favorite Animal: Leopard.

NOW PASS IT ALONG AND YOU DO THE SURVEY TOO!

18 weeks and an almost 1 year old!

2011-02-13T14:31:00.003-05:00

The post I know you all have been waiting for, lol.

* How far along?: 18 weeks.
* Total weight gain: +17 ish give or take- 3 lbs away still from the weight I was when I got pregnant with Elliot, so it is a win/win no matter how much weight I gain. As long as it isn't 100lbs or something crazy.
* How big is baby?: The size of my hand, but I am measuring a month ahead
* Maternity clothes?:The ones I can find I wear. Dont know where a crate of them went to!
* Stretch marks?: The same ones as before. Not that I would know if there were any new ones because there are so many.
* Sleep?: I haven't slept in almost 2 years...
* Best moment this week?: It will be saturday at my little girls birthday party!
* Movement?: Active, but not as busy as Elliot was at this stage, although I felt this baby sooner.
* Food cravings?: Carbs and chocolate.
* Labor signs?: Helz to the no.
* Belly button in or out?: On its way out.
*Sex? Sure ;)
* What I miss: A hot body from 2-3 years ago.
* What I'm looking forward to: Having this baby and moving on with my life. Knowing that this is my last one, I just want to start planning vacations and school...ect...
* Milestone: Well, When Elliot pushes my belly button the baby kicks back at her. Sibling rilvery starts at a wee tender age, I guess.

Elliot milestone: She is starting to not only walk away from me but run away from me. (her Frankenstein run) I have to get it one video.

Excuse the mess, but here are some pictures:
( I need better posture)

Belly picture, a "gangster" picture of Elliot in my scarf that she likes. (side note: my husband does not think that picture is funny) the other two are of Elliot and her vacuum. She likes to push it all over.

My first recipe post!

2011-02-08T19:58:00.002-05:00

I normally wouldn't do this, but this recipe is too good to not tell you about! Just because I know a lot of you that read this have a baby about the same age.

One of Elliot's favorite dishes is Mac n' cheese (homemade with wholewheat pasta, of course :))

I found a way to put even more nutrition into it that she loves!

Boil your choice of pasta, drain and set aside.
In pot put about 1/3 cup of mushed squash! Do not use baby food squash, cook it yourself. put a sprinkle of cheese and some milk in there to make it the texture you want.

Put noodles back in.

I also put some squash chunks in there in case she wants a change in texture.

Tastes like there is wayyyy more cheese in it than there actually is. I would eat a bowl of it and I don't like squash.

I think butternut works the best, but I used acorn squash tonight and it worked just fine.

Just an idea to spruce up your everyday baby routine!! I know I am always looking for new ideas :)

Favorite things for 2 under 2?

2011-02-04T17:02:00.002-05:00

What are your favorite things or things that have come in handy when having two children? What diaper bag do you use? What is your favorite double stroller? Ect./Ect.

Help a gal out :)

Name options and opinions needed

2011-02-01T17:38:00.003-05:00

JLT brought up the topic of names. For a girl we have already agreed on Rian Audrey V. for a girl. However- the trouble comes with a boy name.

I want to name a boy (if it is a boy) after his father. It is a family tradition sort of a thing. He is against this because as many of you know I have a stepson, Noah.

He doesn't want to name the boy baby after him because he feels that if anyone was to get his name it should have been his first son. Now he won't do it because it will make Noah feel "bad" later on down the line if we should use that name choice.

My thoughts are that is silly! He won't feel bad that his brother got his fathers name and he didn't. Maybe I am thinking about this wrong? What do you all think?

If not, our front runner name for a boy is Gage Lee V. (either Gage or Gauge I can't decide between spellings.) Lee is both of our middle names.

Other possibility is Quinton Lee.

I still like my husbands name: Vincent Lee V.

What do you all think?

Long post of updates!

2011-01-31T13:47:00.004-05:00

My 16 week appointment went well this morning! In my 16 weeks I am up like 8 lbs. yikes. Although, I know just how much I weighed with Elliot -so far so good. I know I will pack on at least 50. I have accepted it. My ute is past my belly button and I am measuring a full month ahead. STILL they assure me there is only one in there. (I have had 3 ultrasounds and each time there has always been one.)

My daughter. In three weeks she will be ONE YEAR OLD!!!
She now sleeps in her bed with no problem, is a kick ass dancer and....SHE WALKS!!!!!!!!!!! She walks. She is growing!

:::cue tears::: Where did my baby go?

Good thing that in July I will be getting another one. ha!

BTW- Baby #2 heart rate was 154 so I bet it is a boy. Elliot's HR was always high.

So it seems

2011-01-20T12:21:00.002-05:00

So it seems that with me putting Elliot in HER bed, that she no longer wants to snuggle me...at all. She wants to be in her own bed. This makes me happy and sad at the same time. Those snuggly nap times that I mentioned before? THe ones where I can just veg out on the couch which snuggling the babe? Are no more.

She went to her crib, I handed her the bottle, covered her up and she went to sleep. 15 minutes later she is still asleep.

Wow. I guess she was more than ready to have a space all her own.

BREAKKKKKKKTTTTTTTHROUGH

2011-01-18T16:15:00.003-05:00

Oh Em Gee. We moved Elliot's crib into our room as an attempt to get her OUT of our marital bed. It took a couple minutes to get her down but then she was OUT! IN HER BED!!!! That was the most time she ever spent in HER BED!!!!

She finally went to sleep around 9pm, woke up at 1:30am then 3:30 then 6:45am!!!!! At which point I put her back into bed with me and squeezed another hour of sleep. Yes I needed it.

The best part? My husband and I...snuggled.

We also had sex right before then. Didn't think I would leave you hanging, did you? :0)

Tonight's goal is to get her to sleep and in her bed right away. Instead of sleeping on one of us until we are ready for bed. Did I mention that is the only way she will nap? On one of us? 3 hours of my day is spent with a baby on top of me snoozing and sweating. It isn't that bad though, really.

Wish me luck tonight! I wish that I could put her in bed and she would be asleep and stay asleep the WHOLE NIGHT. Baby steps though. This is good.

What does/ did your one year old eat?

2011-01-16T20:05:00.003-05:00

Elliot gave up purees at about 7 months of age when we started introducing more finger foods. She decided she was big and she didn't want a spoon of food anymore.

Now that she is getting bigger, I have been told by different people that she should only be drinking 20-25 ounces of formula a day. I feel like I am doing the wrong thing because Elliot drinks 35-40 ounces a day.

She gets the 35-40 ounces of formula a day, plus one sippy of juice (mixed with water), and three meals a day. Plus a snack after naps.

For her lunches she has things like mac n' cheese or chicken nuggets (homemade) or grilled cheese (she can eat a whole one) ect... kid things. For her supper she gets a meat, grain, vegetable, and a fruit. I don't give her extra fruit at lunch because she gets the shits if she gets too much.

For Breakfast she eats either pancakes, french toast, a mutigrain cereal bar, or eggs and cheese.

I feel like I am feeding her the same things all the time for lunch. For dinner she really has whatever we have.

I need ideas for lunches and different dinner.

PLEASE tell me your little ones schedule and what they eat! I want to know! TIA

Also- should I be feeding her the formula in a sippy during the day to get her off the bottle since she has a month until her first birthday? Advice about that too please. She relies on it to go to sleep for naps and bedtime.

Birthday

2011-01-14T12:46:00.002-05:00

So, the 11th was my birthday. It was nothing special by any means. Although, this time I spent it with my daughter on the outside! Crazy. Last year we went out for pizza and this time I took Elliot to the mall, in a blizzard so we could share some pizza. Vince had to work and got out late. Did not come home until 8:30pm.

I love pizza :)

Elliot does too :)

Tomorrow is my first date day/night with Vince since Elliot was 6 weeks old. It is way overdue. Going to the museum and then to melting pot for a big night out! Yummy.

I am excited to ditch the baby and grandmas house. I am sure a couple hours into it I will be missing her.

NT scan went well

2011-01-03T13:08:00.002-05:00

Sonographer said all of the measurements were fine! Of course you have to wait until you get the blood back and such to get the stats. I am not worried :)

Baby is measuring two days ahead. Heart rate was 167- fast like "her" sisters. lol I guess I am going to start calling it a she just because of the old wives tale about heart rate speeds.

I thought it was so funny that this baby did not squirm around NEARLY as much as Elliot did at the same scan-even though they were the exact same gestational age. This baby moved some and then when she didn't want it to move it would do a dance.

Crazy to see how much like a baby "she" looked. Duh. I know it is a baby, but even in the last 4 weeks it has changed so much! It went from a blob that looked like a rubber duck to a baby that was sucking her thumb! COOL!

What a miracle pregnancy and birth is (are?). I will try and get pictures on here soon but MY laptop is broken. Where would we be without technology?

Regular OB appointment later on! Can I say, that I really, really miss my doctor? I love that i can say that too!

First post of 2011

2011-01-01T22:29:00.003-05:00

Wow. 2010 has been one hell of a year! I had a baby for crying out loud! My dreams were made a reality when on February 21st at 1:59am, a bright pink "little" girl was yanked from my guts. The craziest day of my life. I still look at her and run my fingers over her wrinkles that were there when she was born and think, "wow, I get to keep her and she is all mine." How lucky am I?

To think that is going to happen again in 2011. I am so excited!!! I don't know how I will be able to divide my time and love between two babies, but I know I will have to and it will be done.

So many things running through my mind.

BTW- I have the coolest birthday this year. 01-11-11 awwwwww yeeeaaaah :)

I am trying my hardest to get my daughter out of my bed. Yes my 10.5 month old still sleeps with us and I can not break her of it! HALP!

My idea was to get a bassinet and put it next to the bed and try moving her in that but she is too big for one. So plan b is to break down her crib and move it into our room right next to the bed. Maybe that will work? Ugh. I can not have two kids in my room at the same time.

Plus the belly is growing and my bed is getting smaller- I swear.

:::raises glass of non-alcoholic margarita:::

Here is to 2011! May it be the best year yet!

Still growing!

2010-12-29T09:34:00.002-05:00

It is true what they say about the second time around. I am 11 weeks 3 days pregnant today and I look like I did with Elliot at 13 weeks or so. I am so happy I took those weekly belly pictures with her to see the progress.

My regret thus far is that I have been so skeptical about this pregnancy, that I have not taken a single bell picture so far.

I feel as though I need to make it through the NT scan before I do that. Any time I think about taking one I feel some twinge or cramp (that deep down I KNOW is normal), that makes me rethink it.

I am going to regret that. This is my last pregnancy, should everything go as planned.

I need to get over it and start enjoying it before I have this baby!

Christmas time once again

2010-12-20T08:32:00.003-05:00

I love the Christmas season and all that it represents.

EXCEPT all the gifts that are required (almost seems by law) by your say...11 year old step son.

I understand the meaning behind the gifts, like maybe 1 or 2 nice things is what I think a child should get. Plus some stocking stuffers. Or maybe a gift certificate to get something cool or a cool activity. Instead we script and save to fill the tree with gifts for him. Or we go withot things.

Noah spends half of Christmas with his mother and half with us. He never wants to spend Christmas eve with us because he likes waking up at his mothers house- she has better gifts.

Can you imagine how that makes my husband feel? How it makes me feel? It makes me so angry that is all the holidays mean to him. Gifts.

That is all we are to him. He said he only wanted to come over to our house today if his dad went out and rented a wii game that he wanted. Can you believe that? He is so ungrateful! Not to mention he has everything a kid could ever want. Quads-every video gaming system a kid could want (at both houses) TONS of toys, TONS of everything! He literally didn't know what he wanted because he has everything already.

Why can't family time be family time? Why can't Christmas be Christmas?

gender predictions

2010-12-17T13:25:00.002-05:00

Chinese gender chart says this is a girl, that is what it said with elliot but I am not placing much stock in it.

People keep asking me what I want. At first I thought that I handsdown wanted a girl. Just because I would know what to expect, I could re-use some of the same clothing and other things.

But maybe I want a boy now so Elliot can stay my little girl and I can spoil her with the girl things in life. AND so I could spoil my son with the boy things.

I would trully be happy with either gender, and that is the truth the more and more I think about it. I can not wait to find out! Although, we are waiting. poo. I am the biggest planner ever. This is not going to be easy.

I feel a little bad for writing this post now. Like I wouldn't love a little girl, because I would.

Madame Zaritska's prediction for baby #2

2010-12-13T22:46:00.002-05:00

With Elliot it was pretty much correct in her prediction (I know it is 100% fake and everytime you click refresh it gives you a different answer, but this is the first answer it gave).

The day you deliver, outside will be sunny. Your baby will arrive in the middle of the night. After a labor lasting approximately 25 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 8 pounds, 10 ounces, and will be 20 inches long. This child will have light blue eyes and some black hair.

All of the above is a 100% possibility.

Exciting to see what happens!!!

(Elliot prediction is under madame Z prediction for the tag if you are interested in reminising with me, lol.)

Sorry post

2010-12-10T21:44:00.002-05:00

I have been doing somethinking recentley. I think back to when I first joined "the bump" a couple years ago when my journey began to start my family.

I think of all of the people who were in the same starting boat as me waiting, wanting, praying for a baby.

After my ectopic and miscarages I was blessed to be pregnant with my daughter, Elliot and they still remained childless.

two and a half years from the start of my journey to have a baby, I am blessed with this second baby and things are starting out pretty well.

These people are still childless.

My heart is very sad for them. It just occured to me how lucky I am to have a healthy little girl. I don't know why the world is unfair to some of the most deserving of people. Ones that would be excellent parents. While I see in the news parents who kill their young or are so into drugs they don't even know they have children.

It just makes me sick.

*This was more a post to get something off my chest, not trying to "brag" about me having a baby and being pregnant, just stating some facts.*

ultrasound went great!

2010-12-08T10:39:00.002-05:00

Baby is measuring right on now. Heart rate was 160 BPM and (s)he looked like a little duck. At first I was scared because I thought I noticed two babies but she assured me that the other blog was a yolk sack...

I was going to have a moment for sure!
(Not that I wouldn't have accepted the blessings, I am just relieved that I will not be having 3 under 2)

Next stop is Jan. 3rd for NT scan and appointment!

I missed my OB, what can I say? lol

Tomorrow 8 weeks 2 days ultrasound

2010-12-06T22:14:00.002-05:00

I have a good feeling about tomorrow. Seeing the heartbeat at 6 weeks was a good sign, I have no reason to think that I won't see a healthy baby in the afternoon. However, me just thinking that brings back so many past memories about how I have thought that in the past with prior pregnancies.

It hurts when they write orders for you and it says para=6 gravida=1 on lab slips. I don't want my number to go to 7.

Hoping for a heartbeat tomorrow!

Although...they might only see my poop baby...HALP! lol

Ultrasound went great!

2010-12-01T15:00:00.003-05:00

heartbeat! I am so sorry for not posting sooner. I have been SUPER busy. I do have a followup ultrasound on this coming tuesday (8weeks 2 days) to make sure things are still growing like they should.

In other news, I have been super sick. Ick. I guess that is a good thing right?

next week!

2010-11-15T15:28:00.001-05:00

Two days before Thanksgiving, I am having my first ultrasound. I am so nervous! I will only be 6 weeks 2 days (based on LMP) so we might not see a heart beating. I want that more than anything. Wish me luck!

a sort of selfish post

2010-11-12T21:33:00.003-05:00

One thing that I can not wait for, should this pregnancy decide to stick, is my boobs back.

Once I stopped breastfeeding (or pumping...) they went flat as a pancake. To give you an idea, I had beautiful luscious boobs. They went from wow, great rack to me being able to FOLD THEM IN HALF! Eep!

That is what you have to look forward to after 8 months of boob inflation.

I want them back.

Also, a question for you moms of two kids, when you found out you were pregnant did it feel like you were cheating on your first baby? That is what I am feeling like now. I feel as though I am taking away her babyhood. Like now she has to share her mommy and she is going to hate me forever.

Beta #2 is back!

2010-11-12T14:49:00.001-05:00

47 hours later my betas are.....666!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MORE than doubled!

Here's to a July baby!

And no, we are not finding out the sex of this one till the babe is born! It is going to drive me CRAZY.

baby #2 first beta draw results

2010-11-10T13:52:00.003-05:00

286
First beta at 4 weeks 3 days

21.6
progesterone level

There is a wee one in my belly! Elliot were only 700-something at about 5 1/2 weeks so I have some hope that this one we might get lucky on.

She didn't tell me yet if I go back for another draw, I am sure I will on Friday.

BFP

2010-11-09T19:24:00.002-05:00

Yup. True story. BFP!!!!

Hello July baby...
hopefully.

Betas tomorrow.

Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:::vom:::

Done

2010-10-21T09:37:00.003-05:00

I am done pumping! I stopped a little more than 24 hours ago. I am in "discomfort" but no pain. I think it is because I weaned myself down. Now that I have stopped, I realise how much time it really took up. I am going to wash my pump REALLY, REALLY well and steralise it to :::gulp::: put it away for the next bambina (or bambino).

When will that be? Who knows? I am not going to start charting till December or January. For now, I am going to have sex whenever I want to have sex. If it happens great, but I am not going to start tracking cycles till Elliot is full on sleeping in her crib at night and through the night. No point if I get less than 4 consecutive hours of sleep, right?

Oh yeah, we are moving here in the next week. To a house where I am making Elliot's nursery the way that I want it! Not this rental house. I might have already said it before, but the colors are purple, black and green. Sounds weird, but it looks SO COOL! Pictures after we move in.

A habbit is REALLY hard to break.

2010-10-16T21:30:00.002-05:00

Let me tell you what. As you all know-I have been slowly weaning my boobs off being pumped. I went down to three times a day, to just morning and night and as of today I changed it to just once at noon.

Dropping my pumping session before bedtime has been by far the hardest thing I have had to do. I am sitting here typing and trying to drink a hot chocolate because I don't know what to do! I am tired, so logically I should go to bed. Baby is sleeping and I have everything set up ready to go.

BUT I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!

HALP!!!!!

I feel like I need to do something! A step missing in my night time routine.

This is going to be a long night.

The purest gift

2010-10-13T15:24:00.002-05:00

I need to tell you about a website that is very special. It is "inspired" by all of the losses that should not have been, in particular a special women on one of the boards I frequent. She has had two infant losses, born too soon to stay.

This website begs the question, "How have you helped someone?" Small acts of random kindness go far and can be inspirational to other people. They don't have to cost a lot of money (or any at all), they can be as simple as a smile. You don't know what that person has gone through that day. You can help turn that all around.

This is a blog that you can follow and read about other people kindness and it really lifts you up. A good read and I suggest you check it out. Then, submit what you did to help someone else.

HERE is the link.

The time has come

2010-10-09T12:24:00.003-05:00

for me to start shutting down the milk factory. I have been pumping alone since she was like 6 weeks old. Pumping is a big PITA (pain in the ass). It has been a big part of my stress because breastfeeding is "what is right" and "what you are supposed to do". That is all I ever hear-and if you can do it then that is fantastic.

My original goal was a year. A good goal to have..before you know how your baby nurses and how much/if you can produce milk. It took me a WEEK to get my milk in. We had to feed donor breastmilk as supplement. Then the reflux got so bad she couldnt lay down to eat. Then I started pumping every 2 hours for a long time to get supply up. Then I needed sleep so I dropped the night pumpings. Then, mu supply dropped and I have been fighting ever since to get enough milk.

So whats better? Breastmilk or a fun mommy? I say a fun mommy. I dont like being strapped to the pump-having to plan my day around my pumping.

I am weaning my boobs off the titty sucker.

I am down to three times a day-wake up, middle of day and before bed and already I feel free.

This is going to be a good thing for us.

Last day of September.

2010-09-30T17:22:00.002-05:00

Can you believe it?! Seems like this month has been both good and bad. Some horrible things happened to some close friends.

My poor friend Susan delivered her second baby and he passed away. Premature birth needs to end. That is why I do the march of dimes. Babies should not have to die before they experience life. Sometimes it is hard to believe that God has a plan-but he does.

Something wonderful is going to/has to come out of this. I know, how can something good come out of two babies being born prematurely and passing away to the same person? I don't know. But to think that that is going to be the rest of your life doesn't leave much room for anything good. I want so much to give her a big giant hug. I can't even pretend to know how she feels. I know how much I love my daughter. I know that I would just loose it if something happened to her. I can't imagine loosing two of her. Can't. So please say a little prayer for her and her family.

To end this on a positive note- Elliot can now say ba-ba and ma-ma. She only said da-da one time when she looked right at Vince and screamed it at him. I had to LOL... It has begun.

for the record

2010-09-25T22:09:00.002-05:00

I just got done with my first PP period a couple weeks ago and sex is A LOT better now. Just that fast. My doctor said it would be better after AF showed up. I didnt believe her-now I do! It was so dry and painful before, now I feel like I have a twenty something vag and not a 50 something vag.

Introducing...

2010-09-22T17:29:00.001-05:00

A BRAND NEW site!! Totsy! This is one for pregnant moms, and moms with all ages of children. If offers you toys, clothes, and anything else you can think of including things for yourself for CHEAP!!!

I am talking 60-80% off retail.

Costs nothing to sign up and take a look, and if you decide to-use my link please?

http://www.totsy.com/join/nickivaden

For realz. So many baby toys and shoes-my head is spinning.

Happy 7 months Elliot

2010-09-18T14:36:00.000-05:00

9/18/2010

Dear Elliot Grace:

I have been meaning to do this for a LONG time. To tell you just how long...almost 7 months in fact. Just so you don't have to do the math, that is how old you are right now. Almost 7 months old.

These past 7 months have been full of more meaning, joy, anxiety, and love than I even thought was possible. Every single day I fall deeper in love with you. I have always heard other parents talking about how much they love their children. I wanted that-to know what that felt like. When you were born I loved you so much, and I just wanted to protect you and hold you close all the time...literally...ask your father. You were not born a little tiny baby by most peoples standards. 9lbs 5 ounces and 22 1/2 inches long. The most perfect thing on the planet.

Every time you smile at me, laugh, eat something that you like or hop it fills me with such joy that it makes my heart want to burst open. When you figure out how to do something new I get so proud! Not that I am not proud of you every single second of every single day, because I am.

I love you so much, that I want you to have everything in life that you want. I know that is not possible-but I am going to do my best.

I look into the future and I get so excited about all of the things we are going to do together. I am looking forward to your first day of school, your first Christmas, boyfriend, car, and dreading your high school graduation. That is something that you will understand some day. I am already hoping that they find a way to make you stay little forever. Or until I am ready for some grandbabies. Ha ha ha.

The bottom line is, I just want you to know that you are the best thing that has ever happened or will happen to me. (Besides your daddy or any other sibling(s) that decide to come our way.) Your daddy loves you a lot too. Everytime he plays with you, my heart melts and I fall deeper in love with him. I couldn't have picked a better daddy for you.

You love him just as much. I can already tell that you two are going to have a special relationship with eachother. I can picture you two dancing together at your wedding. There will be dancing at your wedding, right? That is a story for another time...

I hope that you develop in to a strong willed women who knows how to take care of herself. A women who is caring, loving, and smart. I want you to get EXACTLY what you want out of life, and if there is anything that we can do to make that happen- you should let us know...within reason. No camaro for your first car as much as your daddy would love that. I am put my foot down. (That was another ha ha ha moment). I also hope that you love animals so I can convince your father to fill our home with all the rescue animals it can hold.

You are so beautiful. I am watching you sleep in your swing right now. I just want to go over and hold you because I know that every second that passes, I will never get back. I don't want to miss anything that you do because I love you so much. I want to see every first.

Always remember that I will be there for you and you can talk to me about anything-good or bad. I want us to have the relationship that my mother and I have. I know that won't happen until you are 17 or so. I also don't know when or even if I will ever give you this letter- but I feel good "writing" this down on paper.

So happy almost 7 months my sweet, sweet baby girl. Mommy loves you more than you will ever know until you have a daughter some day.

Love,

Mommy

long overdue post-teeth!

2010-09-13T08:50:00.002-05:00

My poor baby!

She is in the middle of teething hell. She first sprouted two bottom teeth, and not has her two top teeth coming in! Poor baby is getting 4 teeth at the same time. I think there is something coming in on the left side somewhere, but I can't feel anything and she keeps chewing like a mad women over there.

I feel so bad for her. I want to take her pain away. Can't imagine what kind of headache she has.

My supply!

2010-08-21T07:19:00.001-05:00

HALP! I have tried pumping more often, fenugreak, & oatmeal. I am only getting like half the amount I normally do. Is it my bodys way of telling me it's done?!? I hope not! Help!

Wouldn't you know it.

2010-08-17T21:46:00.002-05:00

I made it to 6 months pumping. Let me be the first to tell you that JUST pumping= BIG pain in the A$$. Some days I think about stopping now that I have made it this far, I know the decision is all mine. My husband has recently become much more supportive of my efforts within the last month or two. Not sure why, but I will take it.

And the second I start thinking about stopping in the car or while watching TV, the commercial or radio commercial comes on talking about how "every ounce counts" and how breastfeeding is the #1 choice ect... and then I start feeling bad about stopping.

That is how I know it is not the right time. I don't know when that will be. I am taking it on a day to day basis. Cool if I do it to a year like I so naively thought before I gave birth. I didn't realise that it might not be as easy as I thought it would be and I think that it has been the hardest thing about being a mother for me.

It has started

2010-08-09T17:52:00.002-05:00

It never fails. When I walk past my daughter with something in my hand, or pick something up she IMMEDIATELY thinks that she can have it. She starts shaking with excitement, she then flings her little arms and tries to grab whatever it is while making little excited noises. I swear in her head she is saying, "Oh! Giveme Giveme!"

The problem? A lot of the time...I give in...

Who am I to keep the joy of a sock from my daughter? Or the remote control, or my cell phone, or a bib...

I got the OK

2010-08-03T20:58:00.002-05:00

I got the OK to start TTC #2 sometime this fall/winter! I am so excited and then as soon as he said this fall/winter I was like OMG am I really ready? I don't know!?!?!?!!!! How can I love another as much as I love my little girl? How will I give enough attention to each child?

And how will I be able to deal with another loss?

I feel like I am going to go through another 4 losses on the way to getting another baby. I don't know how well I would deal with that.

A loss is VERY hard. Most of you know it.

Having a loss after a baby would be different. I hope I am not going to stir the pot by saying this.

A loss before you have a baby is difficult because you don't have any children and you want one so badly.

A loss after you get pregnant would be difficult because you think that "gosh, Elliot was that small once too" and it is almost like loosing another child.

I hope that didnt sound as stupid as I think it came across...

I know that someone loves their baby before he or she is even born, but not as much as they love their 5 month old.

I feel like I just need to put a sock in my mouth and walk out of this post. Deal with it when it comes across my path. Which I really hope it doesnt. ::sigh::

I am boring!

2010-07-27T16:52:00.003-05:00

I am sorry that I have been so boring! I have pictures to post, but no time right now. sorry!

I have been busy making Elliot's baby food! She is growing like a weed and is up to two servings of baby food a day and breastmilk the rest of the time.

SHE LOVES SOLIDS!!! She starts making "excited" noises when she sees me reach in the freezer for cubes of goodness.

The only food I have not gotten down pat 100% is the green beans. I steamed them, but I must not have done it long enough. They were sort of "gritty".

We are opting not to do avocado because there is a family latex allergy and I don't like to roll dice.

post and run...again

2010-07-16T09:29:00.002-05:00

Wow. I have not uploaded pictures in a while. I am going to have to do that soon. Elliot is going through a phase of not wanting to sleep...ever. She has reverted to a new born. Up every two hours and up for the day even earlier. I have to admit=she spoiled us early. From about 7 weeks to 2 1/2 months she slept from 10 to 10:30 every night. I loved it. Now...not so much.

I have been trying to catch up on sleep.

Also- Elliot at her 4 month appt. was 90th percentile for head, height, and weight. She loves her food :)

Love

2010-06-29T10:31:00.001-05:00

Love is waking up with your baby next to you, playing with your hair and gently touching your face. Then, when you open your eyes, she smiles the biggest smile and laughs.

THAT is how I start my day every. single. morning.

Love.

post 2 of 2

2010-06-25T04:19:00.004-05:00

Call me crazy, but I think I want another baby. Don't worry, I am not trying to get KU but I would not be sad if I did. Elliot is such a happy baby as long as no one is trying to pick her up. When she smiles and laughs it is hard not to picture he laughing or playing with a sibling.

Bottom line is, we need to do it sooner rather than later because I don't think my husband can handle it if we wait. He just celebrated his 40th birthday.

He is no spring Chicken and those endless hour newborn night really got to him and with the next kid it is only going to be worse.

What to do what to do...

cuteness:
-one is Elle with my mother (what she used to be like with her, tear, see my last post if you need info on that)
-Elle with her lovey
-Elle with her fingers in her mouth which is most of the time.

Post 1 of 2

2010-06-25T04:14:00.002-05:00

We have a problem. Elliot went from loving everyone to loving no one in about two weeks time. She is so happy all the time, smiles, laughs, and enjoys life. UNTIL someone tries to pick her up. Even my mother who has seen her for hours at a time at least 3 times per week has gone from being worshiped to not being able to hold her.

It is giving my mother a complex.

I tried giving her to my mom and let her CIO. She SCREAMED for 14 minutes then started hyperventilating and puking!?

So I took her back and got her calmed down.

Someone please tell me this is just a stage. And mean it.

She likes!

2010-06-17T18:38:00.001-05:00

Squash that is! She wanted more and more of it!!! So proud of my baby girl :) She ate about a heaping tablespoon! All of it!

One year ago today!!!!!!!!

2010-06-13T10:18:00.002-05:00

I saw the pink lines on a test that I knew would be negative. I bought them from ebay off a guy whose wife got a + and didnt need them anymore. I was just testing the tests to make sure the control line would pop up.

Both lines popped up. Yes, I was in denial and that I found out so late. I found out when I was 5 1/2- 6 weeks which really isnt late I suppose.

Today my baby girl is laughing, teething, eating her oatmeal at her highchair, rolling both ways ball of beautiful wonderfulness.

I love you Elliot Grace!

44 seconds of pure joy

2010-06-11T16:37:00.001-05:00

Go Vote for Elliot!!!!!!!!! Link on last post.

graduation

2010-06-10T08:45:00.002-05:00

My brother is graduating from high school today!!!!!!!!!!! Wow. I am so excited to see what this new chapter in life has to hold for him and our family. I also can't wait to see myself in that dress I just bought...

I am going to be one hot mama! HOPEFULLY I will get some pictures with my girl and I. I am always the one taking the pictures.

Also, we are moving up in ranks! Voting ends on Sunday, vote everyday! Just a click and maybe a capatcha! We need every vote we can get! Just takes second of your time. Thnx. http://photos.parents.com/category/vote/photo/315942

more on my nipples and sex

2010-06-08T08:50:00.004-05:00

So yesterday I told ya'll I have a yeast infection on my nipples! Can you believe it!?! She (my doctor) told me that it is really hard to get rid of. I have to wash and sterilize my pump parts after EVERY USE, I have to SCRUB my bleeding and sore nipples after every pumping session and put lotramin advanced, which is an athletes foot cream on my nipples after I BLOW DRY THEM AFTER SCRUBBING THEM because they have to be super dry.

(Sorry for the long run on above...)

I also have to walk around the house with my nipps exposed all the time to keep them as dry as possible.

:::shakes head::: The things I do for my child.

My only goal now is to make it to 6 months without my nipples falling off. It is sort of funny when you think about it...right?!?

I also asked my doctor why it felt so horrible after sex. For the record, this is going to get a little TMI here...

after my husband ejaculates it feels like my vagina is on fire. Sex is none to comfortable either. She, being my doctor once again, explained to me that my vagina = a menopausal vagina right now and it is really bone dry. Even though we use lube for sex that the in and out motion is causing a ton of little, teeny, tiny rips on the inside and once he ejaculates it feels like fire because you are rubbing foreign goo into wounds.

She said it is due to breastfeeding. Hormonal hell are her exact words. Interesting I know. She said it will go back to being slippery fun about 4-6 weeks after breastfeeding is done.

I am also reminding you to VOTE <----click on the word vote, for today! She is in 200 and something place and we want her to be number one. It only takes a click to vote, no registration required! You can vote every day and it is only for a week, so vote!!! Vote!!! Vote!!! You can also "like" my picture so it will appear on your facebook wall. I will stop reminding you on Sunday when voting is over, so lets give this our best shot please? I don't ask for much... :)

Yeast and a magazine cover

2010-06-07T16:33:00.003-05:00

So I went to the doctor for my nipple-turns out I have a yeast infection on them. I need to put yeast infection cream on them for two weeks and hope it clears up.

In other news, I need your help!!!
Vote for my baby every day for the next week PLEASE!!!!!

http://photos.parents.com/category/vote/photo/315942

Parents magazine photo shoot. We can do this!

Thank you in advance!!!

:::barf:::

2010-06-06T19:24:00.002-05:00

Today is NO fun! I am puking all the time, Vince is at work for a 24 hour shift and wont be back till tomorrow morning. Just myself, and the kiddo.

I am so glad that my mother was able to come over and help, but tonight it is all on me.

Excuse me now while I go empty my dinner...

trouble in pumping paradise

2010-06-02T14:54:00.002-05:00

Crap. My supply is great! That is not the problem...

This is going to sound painful as a warning..........................................................................................................

I ripped my nipple.

Yup. Ripped. Not a little sore on the nipple tip or anything. Where the nipple connects into the areola is half ripped. I can see inside my nipple, like it has lips on the side of it.

I am trying to give y'all a visual. Did it work?

Blood is not getting into my milk in the bottles. My husband wants me to stop pumping because of the damage it is doing to my nipples.

I have been putting cream on after every session. As a new development today, skin is peeling from my nipple making the wound larger one strand of skin at a time.

Am I crazy for wanting to keep pumping? Seriously. I know it is the best for my baby and stopping because of my own slight discomfort.

It only hurts when I start pumping for the first 30 seconds or so. A pain similar to when you start nursing for the first time.

I have gone longer in between times for pumping to try and get this to heal, but it is not working. How much longer do you think I can hang on?

I even thought about pumping from just my right boob and letting the left dry up. (I only thought that for a second, can you imagine one beautiful DD boob and one saggy-no milk boob?)

HALP!!!

First road trip

2010-05-27T21:57:00.001-05:00

Our first road trip up to our cabin is tomorrow! 2 1/2 hours with no traffic. Wish me luck! Have a safe memorial day weekend.

I have a

2010-05-22T09:14:00.003-05:00

teething, blanket loving baby.

She is drooling everywhere and now wears a bib all day. She is not STTN anymore, and is grumpy and chewing on everything.

Woo hoo! Bring the teething on.

She also loves her blankie. Not just any of the 20 million blankets that we have and not the really nice expensive one I bought to match her crib set, a cheap walmart blanket.

She LOVES it. Elle will rub it on her face and snuggle it till the cows come home. Just this morning she was crying so I tossed her blankie at her and she was all better!

I should go back to walmart and get a couple more for when this one wears out.

I am a slacker

2010-05-16T08:24:00.003-05:00

I have been sooo busy with working (even though it is just 20 hours a week) and the baby. I have also been busy planning a bridal shower which is today THANK GOD!!

Now what to wear, what to wear....
Oh yeah. I only have 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of shorts, 1 pair of capris, and 1 dress + some maternity shirts to complete my wardrobe. Choices, choices, choices...

I feel bad spending money on myself knowing that my little girl needs *something*. Also knowing that I am going to keep shrinking, I don't want to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe every 2 weeks.

My baby sleeps from 930 to 1-2am, eats, then sleeps till about 5am and wants a snack, then gets up at 745-830 like clockwork every day. I should be grateful, but I stay up after she goes to bed because there are thinkgs that need to get done around this house that I don't do when at work (obviously) or when she is awake.

My mommy/daughter time is #1 to me.

Speaking of mommy/daughter time she is fighting sleep in the swing right now and making her noises so I need to go have a chat with her.

Have a good week.

OMGosh! 3 months this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(It wont let me spell check so if you see any "air-rers" sorry.

Goal met

2010-05-11T21:04:00.002-05:00

As of next week, my goal for breastfeeding for 3 months will be met. Well, I am still counting it a success because she is still getting my breast milk. That is really what matters.

I really, really, am hating pumping every two hours- I do it for the babe.

I am *thinking* that I will be done at about 6 months or so just because I hate it so much! For sure by the first snow so I can take cold medicine and other drugs when I get sick without having to worry about passing it to the baby.

That could change, who knows!

Mothers day is here!

2010-05-09T11:31:00.004-05:00

Today is my first mothers day.

I knew that this day would happen, just didn't know when. Last year this time I was very depressed and unhappy. Today, I am full of joy as I look at my sleeping daughter. I never knew a love like this existed. I thought I knew, but I really didn't "know". (If that makes sense).

She is my reason for doing anything and everything now.

Elliot is 11 weeks old today. Not that "little" baby that I brought home from the hospital.

For mothers day I received a diamond mothers necklace, and because I work at a daycare I got my first art project from my baby. It is a refrigerator magnet that says Happy Mooser day! The antlers are her little feet!

So to all you moms, moms to be (at any point in the future) I hope you have a very happy mothers day!

Am I the only one?

2010-05-06T11:28:00.002-05:00

Am I the only one who dislikes Glamourmom nursing tanks? They have small holes for your nipples and if you are even moderately "endowed" then they don't fit your boobs right and they hurt if your nipples aren't dead center of your boob.

My 38E boobs no likey.

Target has been the best.

mothers day is coming and tmi

2010-05-04T20:55:00.002-05:00

I remember past mothers days. Not fun. I had doubts that I would ever become a mother, but now I am and I could not be happier. It really is the hardest job you would ever love. I never understood that more, and I don't understand it as much as I am sure I will in the future.

ummm, btw, on this pill my sex drive is at about 0. No matter how "turned on" I get through his efforts, I can not get wet enough. Sorry, I know that was very TMI. I am just upset.

work

2010-04-28T11:32:00.004-05:00

I wish I could be a SAHM, but for us, I need to be making some sort of income in order to keep her butt diapered. So, I have two jobs. My job working on the ambulance and now I work at a day care most of the time. I am lucky that I can bring her with me when Vince is working. However let me just say this. Poop is not the same when it comes from a child other than your own. Let me also say that a baby on solids has poop that can make me want to puke. I told my boss-lady this and she laughed like I was joking. I told her that it is just gross and it probably would not look good if in the first week or two of working there I puked all over a baby... again she thought I was joking. I wished I were.

I also underestimated the number of onsies that my little girl needed. I was fully stocked in the NB-0-3 size. Believe it or not most of those clothes in prior posts were 0-3 size. I had no idea. So now my girl has 10 onsies for her current 3-6 size and 5 for her next size and then a couple for each size after that. YIKES! I am also one that does not like to spend a ton on a onesie so we will be attending a mom to mom sale this weekend in hopes to beef up her wardrobe.

Elliot pukes/poops/drools through 3 onesies a day sometimes 4. This means I am doing way too much laundry. So to those to be moms out there make sure you get at least a couple NB onsies, and 20-30 onsies in each size after that. They are cheap if you know where to get them and prevents you from having to do laundry all the time.

The money I save on her onsies, I use to splurge on SUPER cute dresses and outfits. Now if only her baby mullet would grow so I can put a bow in it...

She has a TON of hair on the sides and the back of her head, like an inch of hair at least. (Nothing compared to JLT's little Knox, but we all can't be as cool ;)) But hardly nothing on the top! It is growing, but slowly. Poo. Sorry for such a long post but the LO is sleeping and doesnt require my attention for now.

period (tmi and bad language)

2010-04-23T10:13:00.002-05:00

OK- My body is just plain mean.

I bled for 7 weeks, then had no bleeding during week 8. Now, on her two month birthday, i woke up to a bloody mess! I am breastfeeding! WTF!!! Then yesterday, no blood, then this morning....wait for it.....MORE BLOOD!

Who the fuck gets AF 8-9 weeks pp and is breastfeeding?!?!???

To top things off, I am on the pill and have been for almost two weeks now. UGH!

Sorry just venting.

She had her shots

2010-04-21T16:54:00.005-05:00

I think I cried more before she got the shots than when she was receiving them. She cried a bit, then we picked her up and she was fine. She isn't even acting sore. However-she is sleeping a lot.

The stats:
24" long- 90%
Head, I forgot how big, but 90%
Weight- 12lbs 14 ounces- 75%

Doing well!

Also included are pictures of Elliot in her Adidas track suit for the march of dimes walk, and her two month bunny shot!

Where in the world have I been?

2010-04-20T14:39:00.002-05:00

I have been busy with my ROLLING, LAUGHING, SMILING, baby girl! She is also saying words like ahh-goo and sometimes when she gets really, really mad she yells "mom". I know she doesnt know what she is saying, but none-the-less I tease my husband all the time that her first word was indeed mom.

Her two month shots are tomorrow and I am indeed nervous! I will update with weight and length.

We did the march of dimes walk and it was cold, but we did it! All 3 miles...at 8 weeks post c/s. I am still feeling the effects.

We also got through her first cold this past week. My wonderful stepson introduced his germs to all of us. My husband got it, then I did, then Elle did. Let me tell you what- I was the boogie sucking QUEEN! I may save lives for a living, but when it comes to your own child being sick, you can never be too careful.

We had her two month pictures yesterday and she was NOT HAPPY. All of the pictures we have she is scowling. It can be something we look back on ;)

Pumping is going well, I am still sad about not nursing. I know she wants to sometimes because in her sleepy state she nuzzles soft things like blankets and tries to nurse them. I hear a :::Suck, suck, suck, wahhhh! suck, suck, suck::: Sometimes when we are laying in bed I slip le boobie in her mouth and she nurses.

I will update tomorrow. hopefully.

I did it!

2010-04-14T10:55:00.002-05:00

I cut my hair off. It was down past my nips, and now it is shoulder length-just barley enough to put in a pony tail. I love it.

Also, I left my baby for the first time two nights ago for a date. Yes a date. My mother watched her and I cried going out the door. It is one thing to leave her with my husband for a couple hours, but it is another to leave her with someone who is not a parent to her. I know she would be fine, I don't know why I cried.

It all turned out good and I hope to do it again some day. Not sure when.

I got a part time job in addition to my ambulance job. I am going back to work part time on the ambulance and I got a job at an in home day care. She is letting me bring Elliot to work! That way I get to earn money and she is with me!

ALSO- March of dimes walk is this saturday and I am so excited!

Call me crazy

2010-04-13T10:45:00.003-05:00

but I think I am going to do it! I am going to cut my hair off. Since Elliot was born my hair growth has increased believe it or not. It is now down past my nipples. I keep it up 24 hours a day because she grabbed it one time and I about died. I also keep it up at night because I cant roll over! My hair gets stuck under my head if that makes sense.

And so, I think I may get it chopped to about shoulder length, maybe a little shorter. Hey, summer months are approaching.

I am just scared. I love my long hair, it is just not practical and not beautiful up in a bun anymore. Plus it takes 20 minutes to blow dry.

Do I sound like I am trying to convince myself to do it? Because I am.

My baby

2010-04-08T22:17:00.001-05:00

5 weeks and her first Sunday at Church 2 weeks ago...

Boobie faucets

2010-04-08T01:24:00.002-05:00

It is my new idea.

I could empty my boobs before bed then whenever I feel like and it wont take 20 minutes. The "ee-er-er" of the pump is something that I do not like at 2AM.

Just throwing the idea out there...food for thought as I sit here in my living room at 2:31AM.

EP

2010-04-05T12:15:00.003-05:00

Just to keep you all in the loop- I am now JUST pumping. She wont even take the boob at night anymore. Sucks big time, but the most important thing is that she is getting the breastmilk. It also enables me to put more milk away because at night I make more than she eats.

I am sad, I really loved the bonding. Our last time that we breastfed, she locked eyes with me for the whole feeding. :::swoon:::

We had sex (TMI)

2010-04-04T20:18:00.003-05:00

ohh yeah ;) We have not had sex in a little more than a couple months and I got it tonight! I am so happy. Truth be told, it was a bit (a lot really) dry at first, but once things got going it got slippery real fast! Sorry, but you have seen the title of the post, you were warned. I have not had a vaginal birth, but the hormonal changes are the same. I kept my bra on (I got a real nursing bra BTW, yay!) I didn't want him to get squirted. lol Easter pics to come.

My 6 week check

2010-04-02T18:35:00.004-05:00

It went well! I am back to pre-pregnancy weight exactly. I was hoping to be a little less, but the truth is I don't really care what the number on the scale is as long as I am satisfied with how I look in the mirror. AND...I don't. I have my "mothers apron". So tomorrow, operation "burn the apron" will commence.

PAP went well, ute is back down, said to call in two weeks if I am still bleeding like I am.

Also went to the lactation consultant for a weigh n' feed and for some advice. She is too big for me to do the football hold. Because of the acid reflux she will only eat elevated. My milk flow is also becoming too fast for her. SO she will only nurse for 5 minutes and then starts to SCREAM at my breast and will not nurse. I have been pumping for the last two days. This saddens me because I am really starting to love breastfeeding and am seeing it as less of a chore.

Damn that reflux.

So she gave us a new hold. Get ready for this one. She straddles my leg and faces me sitting up. Then I need to hoist my 38 DD/E boob in the air and put it in her mouth while holding her sitting up and let her nurse. She has such a long torso that this is not going to be an option in about a week.

Either that position or she wants her to LAY ON TOP OF ME every time she goes to nurse. Now, this takes the convience out of breastfeeding really.

I am still going to pump until my boobs no longer make milk/ or 1 year, but I fear my breastfeeding days are dwindling. Any advice? I am going to try my very best to keep at it.

I also went with the mini-pill for birth control- wish me luck. We will be combining pull n pray with the pill for the first month, then just the mini pill.

Hopefully no more babies until next summer-ish.

P.S. Elliot is now 12 lbs and SUPER long. She is thisclose to growing an inch a week. No kidding. Her 0-3 month pants are too short and the 3-6 month pants are too big around the waist. Le sigh. :::Secretly wishes for the tall and skinny and able to eat anything you want without gaining any weight gene has passed to her from her father::: ;)

Birth Control

2010-03-30T19:42:00.002-05:00

PP appointment is on Friday. So I have been thinking about options. We want to try for another in about a year or so, so I don't want an IUD. I am BFing, so I don't want a regular birth control pill. Mini-pill is looking like to front winner. We were thinking about using the pull and pray method- hubbs is pretty good at it, but I don't want to take the chance.

Thoughts? Recommend your method. Also- if you are on the mini-pill, which one? Side effects? TIA

You know its a good day

2010-03-27T08:46:00.001-05:00

When right out of bed your baby poops for the first time in 30 hours...all over you.

and you know your a mommy when you couldn't be happier about it ;)

Could it be?

2010-03-24T21:18:00.003-05:00

So, I had stopped bleeding for a several days finally. However, yesterday I woke up to what resembled my period. This flow has continued into today...could it be AF? I know that pp bleeding can last up to 8 weeks, but as of yesterday when my "period" came, my supply also took a hit.

I have my normal symptoms and now the decreased supply. I just don't know what the chances are of it being my period and not more bleeding. I am still just breastfeeding too. I was hoping to not have a period until I am done BFing.

It would be my luck.

hmmmmm

On a side note- Elliot woke up super happy this morning! We played peek-a-boo and she smiled and started cooing at me. Melted my heart.

Do not look if you don't want to see my midrift...

2010-03-22T09:56:00.003-05:00

OK- So I am being VERY brave today. I think it is only fair that I show you the "remnants" of being 52+ inches around and having a TON of stretchies. One month post delivery was yesterday so I will show you the updated "bunny" pictures with Elliot too. I have to do something to clear your mind from what you are about to see.

If you are not pregnant yet, I do not recommend looking at the picture I am about to show you as it will deter you forever. I feel gross and ugly. I used to have a toned beautiful tummy with a belly button piercing that I will now forever regret because of all the stretchies it caused that have now turned brown. Plus a faint linea negra. If you know a way to reduce stretchies, let me know!

Please also note that my belly looks a THOUSAND times better than it did even just two weeks ago. Be warned.
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Yup, I did it.

2010-03-20T19:44:00.002-05:00

I nursed in public for the first time. I pulled my boobies out in Don Pablos to feed my sweet baby girl. I am proud.

...I also did it while sipping my strawberry margarita. Let me tell you what- that first drink post child birth is a doosy of a drink. I shall dump some milk, but it was well deserved on my part.

My newborn pictures!!!!!!

2010-03-19T11:57:00.001-05:00

http://www.capturedintimeonline.com/Vaden

SOOOOOOO cute! (If I do say so myself!)

I forgot to tell you all!

2010-03-18T09:37:00.002-05:00

I have been blessed with a daughter that has acid reflux!

She is on baby zantac and 2 bottles of rice cereal with breastmilk daily. Joy! She pukes ALL THE TIME and is so uncomfortable and unhappy. I knew something was wrong so I took her in and told them my suspicions. Turns out true!

Hopefully this will work. They said she should grow out of it by the time she is a year, and definitely by the time she is two. :::Blanks stare:::

At least she is not loosing weight. She gains quite a bit, as in ounces (plural) a day.

She eats, then pukes, then thinks she is hungry again, and re nurses until some of the milk has been digested.

The plus side to this is my milk supply has kicked into high gear and my fridge is full of milk.

The bad side...my poor, poor nipples!!!

3 weeks post Elliot

2010-03-16T18:25:00.003-05:00

A little late I know! Sorry!

I am a couple lbs short of pp weight, but I really have noticed the biggest body shape change in the last week, just as JLT had told me. Pictures! (For comparison, please refer to prior posts.)

My baby is HUGE!!! Gained a whole lb in the last week!